I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
