i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
