i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
