Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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