This is not my ceiling
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
