Your tits are I can't wait for
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Randomize
