I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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