do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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