Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
