I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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