I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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