There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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