where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
