i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
