Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
