idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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