Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
