HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She's the barista slut.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
