when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
