What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
