I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize