So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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