i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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