did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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