I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
