Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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