He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You're breaking my sexual little heart
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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