On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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