Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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