Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
