We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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