I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
