giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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