my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
