Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
