can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
