you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
