Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
