he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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