You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
and she was petting her beer can
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
