; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
