Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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