she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
