I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
