It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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