I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
