Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
