Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
