She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
