I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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