you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
