Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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