She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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