where does the pee come out of this thing
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
