This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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