He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
