the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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