it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
