clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
