I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
