There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
