you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
