so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
