Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
