so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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